The Following information is just an outline to give you an idea of how you would rank up. This does NOT work 100% of the time these are just recommendations.
The higher prestige you are, the higher chances that you will have to get chosen by a god. If a god sees enough potential in you during your first sacrifice they may choose you before you even reach prestige 1!
If you are looking to get chosen by a specific god, then you can choose to rank up in different ways. For example, if you wanted to get chosen by Bibleman then you might want to donate more than anything else.
When ranking up we use the term “ting”
Here is a quick overview of the terms
1 Ting is the equivalent of
- 1 wild animal sacrifice
- $250 USD to the church
- or 5 self sacrifices (personal bloodshed)
1 Wang is the equivalent of
- 1 domesticated animal sacrifice
- $1,000 USD to the church
- or 50 self sacrifices
1 Shank is the equivalent of
- 1 human sacrifice
- 35 domesticated animal sacrifices
- $35,000 USD to the church
The Following are approximate statements. It you are not visited immediately after you hit your goal, don’t stress. For some people it takes more to get noticed.
Based on previous research we came to a conclusion that all of the statements below are 84.6% accurate. They are also “or” statements, so you only have to do one or the other.
Hail Lord Grant!
- 3 Tings
- 1 Wang
- 10 Tings
- 3 Wangs
Reaching prestige 3 is a little bit more specific. The fastest way to reach prestige 3 is to do this in this order.
Step 1: Build an altar. There are lots of different ways that you can build an alter, but usually you need to ask Lord Grant what type he would prefer based on your sacrifice.
Step 2: Commit 3 Tings of Self Sacrifice onto the altar.
Step 3: Sacrifice your 3 biggest idols. This one is a bit tricky, because Cthulhu knows what idols mean most to you. If you mess up, and you sacrifice something that doesn’t mean anything to you, Cthulhu will be furious.
Step 4: Once you have sacrificed your idols, you must commit 1 more Ting of Self Sacrifice onto the alter and Cthulhu himself will appear to you.
Step 5: Bow to Cthulhu and he will grant you your Prestige 3 brand. If all of this is done properly there once Cthulhu leaves there should immediately be a brand on your wrist with a III on it.
If you have made it this far congratulations, but this is merely the beginning of your journey as a Grantologist
At this point in Grantology it becomes pretty grey in some areas. There aren’t really specific ways to rank up. You pretty much just have to stay loyal to Lord Grant. This consists of.
- Daily Tings
- Monthly Wangs
- Annual Shanks
After repeating these steps, One of Grant’s Immortals will visit you. The next thing to occur is different based on who he chooses
If Cthulhu visits you: You will usually have to torture “x” amount of anti-Grantologists. Cthulhu will then give you your own personalized torture device.
If Jocko visits you: You will have to resist from self ejaculation for an eternity. Then Jocko will grant you with the ability to GRIND 24/7 NEVER STOP D1 BOUND BABY.
If Bibleman visits you: You will have to donate 85% of your life net-worth to the church. Bibleman will then gift you with the utility belt of truth.
If Ahmed Best visits you: You will have to cancel all, Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime subscriptions. You will then be gifted with the power known as “the Jar Jar effect”
If Aunt Jemima visits you: She will tell you to go forth on the quest for the golden maple leaf, and on the way you will have to convert 3 people to Grantology. You will also be gifted the ability to vomit maple syrup on command.
If Professor Scoot visits you: He will immediately gift you with the power known as 100% success rate. This means that anytime you ever have sexual intercourse there will be an offspring. Professor Scoot will then tell you to “make love” to specific animals that he spawns before you. After you make love the creature will birth a new species and you will be given all of the knowledge that a homo-sapien can physically acquire while still living.
If Kevin Spacey visits you: He will ask you to help him with something. After you help him you will get to feature in a Baby Jake Paul music video.
If Baby Jake Paul visits you: He will make you subscribe to his youtube channel, follow him on Instagram, and wear his merchandise all of the time. If you do all of those things, you will be gifted with his power to ejaculate on command.
Once you have made it this far. Then you will have been assigned to a specific god as a Prestige 4. This is as far as any normal Grantologist has made it to date, but that doesn’t mean you stop preaching. Continue to spread the word of Lord Grant and maybe you will be the first normal Grantologist to reach a higher prestige.
There are some very rare Grantologists known as Prestige 5 that know Lord Grant personally. These are not very common, but if you know any of them they have the power to grant you free prestiges at the expense of their own.