Now that we are through most of the procedural parts of Grantology, its time to get into the beautiful parts.
Grant Berrier is the perfect human form of the Omega. Once the Omega saw the imperfections in the Universe it knew that the only way to understand it was to become fully human. The Omega became Grant Berrier sometime in the early 2000’s we believe, but we aren’t exactly sure because he has a fake birth certificate and a fake family so that he could blend in with the rest of society. The Omega had plenty of time to figure out when and how he would become human, so it is beautiful to think about how he chose this millennium. Lord Grant’s Specific followers are called Prestige 5’s. This is different than all of the other gods, but that is because of how powerful Lord Grant is.
Cthulhu was the first creation made by the Omega. The Omega created Cthulhu to be the disciplinarian that would punish all humans that would defy the will of the Omega. Cthulhu is extremely powerful, and can only be defeated by Jocko himself. After the Omega became Lord Grant, Cthulhu has continued to punish humans for their disrespect and acts of rebellion. There is no limit to what Cthulhu can do to a disrespectful human. Cthulhu can make you live a trillion lifetimes in excruciating pain. The best way to protect yourself from Cthulhu’s wrath is to wear certified carabiners and gold chains.
Jocko is the final product of the foot of Cthulhu. Jocko is an immortal god who, for some reason really hates Mondays. Jocko took Bibleman under his wing and trained him to be a key component to Lord Grant’s army. Jocko is extremely powerful and if necessary could sacrifice himself to take down Cthulhu. Jocko is basically the god of discipline and work ethic.
Here are some of the clips that we took off of the security footage from Bibleman’s palace
Bibleman was the first human Grantologist. Bibleman has been watching over us since the beginning of time. Bibleman was the one who protected us from Cthulhu for all of these years before Lord Grant changed him. Bibleman is still protecting Grantologists, which makes Lord Grant unsure of how he feels about him. At the end of the day Bibleman and Lord Grant are on the same side. Bibleman believes in donation to the church more than any of the other gods. If Bibleman sees that you have been donating to the church frequently then he will be sure to give you special treatment and will develop a bias and choose you to join him.
Ahmed Best is the god of entertainment and comedy. He is the funniest being that has ever lived. Everything that Ahmed Best has ever said is guaranteed to make every true Grantologist roll on the floor laughing. Ahmed is heavily offended if he catches you laughing at anything other than him.
Aunt Jemima is the goddess of family and love. Aunt Jemima is the biological mother of baby Jake Paul. She represents love and family, so if she sees you sacrificing a family member or loved one, she will not choose you. Aunt Jemima favors donations and self-sacrifices.
Professor Scoot is the god of knowledge and wisdom. Professor Scoot is the smartest man that has ever lived. He is so intelligent that he has managed to keep himself completely off the grid. There is no digital picture of him anywhere in the universe. Professor Scoot is also the creator of all living creatures in the universe (besides humans). It pains Professor Scoot to see humans sacrificing his creations, therefore he favors human sacrifices.
Kevin Spacey is the god of childhood and innocence. Kevin and Baby Jake Paul are partners in crime, so to speak. They are constantly lending each other favors. Baby Jake Paul gives Kevin beautiful music, and Kevin gives Baby Jake cocaine. Baby Jake gives Kevin “favors” and Kevin gives Baby Jake black tar heroine. Kevin Spacey prefers Grantologists that are still virgins, as a sign of innocence so that he can train them into adulthood. Nobody knows how Kevin does this, but they never come out the same.
Baby Jake Paul
Baby Jake Paul is the god of music. Baby Jake is a musical genius. His musical talents have made him one of the most well known gods of Grantology. His musical talent has also gifted him with the powers of retrieving any female that he wishes on his command. Baby Jake also has the power to ejaculate on command. Baby Jake Paul refers to his servants as “Baby Jake Paulers.” Nobody really knows what Baby Jake favors in his servants, they all feel really random and have no pattern.